Money, Confidence, and Friendships

I once worked for a top sales company in the Philippines as an account manager for core business division. At first, I was a bit hesitant to shift from being a technical person to sales. Though, I had been selling before, I am just hesitant to the fact that my my selling experience was very basic.

The very reason I joined this company was for my survival. The manufacturing company that I was employed to was cutting down workdays and laying-off some of the workforce. When they offered a redundancy program, I was lucky enough to be one of the applicants to be approved.

It was culture shock the very day I joined this company. I never thought that it would be that tough but I tried to learn as much as I can take for me to fit in. Lucky for me, my primary role was to maintain some small companies and grab some oppurtunity if there are any.

After nine months, I had my first sale. I was able to steal business from the competitor that was holding the business for five years. Though the business was small, it was my first milestone being a salesman. After that, some more sales came in. I was one of the topsalesman then. I can't say that I am good. I just believe to the thinking of being positive with some lucks around. I did received some awards for outstanding sales. Cool.

However, I came to the point where I was starting to compare the margins I was providing to the company against my salary. In a way, maybe I was just a person who wants more… Like most of us, unsatisfied. Second, I just started having a family and the revenue was not enough for us to survive… or was just that we spend more than what we can afford.

I need money (again…).

An opportunity came. I was pirated. Cool.

I knew I was about to get promoted. I knew I had a future with the company. I had good friendships. I had the company's trust. But, where's the money?

I took the bait. One could say that I was hurting my friends and the company who helped me grow. I also knew for the fact that I was joining a start-up company and that things will be tough. I also knew for the fact that I was joining a competitor and it may have sent a wrong signal to my clientile. But I need money…

It was horrifying. I had seen things that was once a hearsay. It must be a joke. I was trying harder and harder each day yet I don't see any results. My boss would give me a call and would try to say things that I don't expect from a boss. I started to tumble and failing. Confusion adds up to the my concerns. It was a free-fall.

I remember my boss telling me that it was my last month. For himself, he was trying to tell me that he lost a lot of friendships because of me even at the very first day that I joined this company. I took his words.

Money.

"Mr. Jay, I hope that money can make you happy…" Those were the last words my previous boss told me… and I never was. I lost some confidence. I lost friendships. I lost respect. I was losing.

I realize that I shouldn't have took the bait. I should have stayed. I should have waited for the right time. I should have thought of the farm philosophy. But that was then…

I am happy now. I am starting to bring back my confidence. I have renewed some of the friendships that I lost. I could say that I don't see money as a big part of my decision making. Though money makes sense after all, it can never buy friendships, self-confidence, and peace of mind.

Unlimitxt

Nakatanggap ako ng text message galing sa asawa ko nung sang linggo. Na excite naman ako sa nabasa ko. Naisip ko na i-forward ito sa sang kaibigan na walang trabaho at kahit papano makakatulong ako sa kanya. Gusto ko lang naman tumanaw ng utang na loob sa kanya. Natulungan kasi ako nun nung college ako at sya ang naging sandalan ko kung walang wala na talaga ako. Eto ang natanggap kong text:

'Bka nman may kilala kang may gusto. hiring kc s Enchanted Kingdom hanggan katapusan. malaki salary, 30k a m0nth.'

Syempre, sino ba naman ang di magkakainteres. Gusto ko nga din, sa palagay ko. Pero naisip ko na many trabaho naman ako at di naman ako naghahanap ng isa pa.

Ayun, pinasa ko sa kaibigan ko. Maya maya sinagot nya ako ng 'Tado!'. Nagulat ako sa natanggap ko. Seryoso naman ako sa tnext ko. Gusto ko lang naman sya tulungan makahanap ng trabaho.

Kung tutuosin, mahilig kami magkulitan ni Tukog sa text sa panhihinayang sa unlimitxt ng globe. Araw-araw maghapon kami kung magkulitan sa text. Karamihan na natatanggap ko sa kanya mga walang kwentang kumustahan oras-oras, mga sagot na 'tado!', 'leche!', 'pak u ka!' at kung ano ano pa.

Pero seryoso ako sa gabing yun. Di naman ako nagbibiro. Di naman mahilig makipagbiruan ang asawa ko sa text. Di ko maisip kung bakit ganun ang reaksyon ng payatot na yun. Hindi naman sya nakapagtrabho ni minsan mula nang ipinanganak si Adan. Kapal ng mukha!
Sinagot ko sya. 'hoy! pak u ka!'

Nagtxt sya nung maghahating gabi nya. Sabi nya interesado daw si Pedro (kaibigan namin sa mindanao na jobless din) sa trabaho sa enchanted kingdom at nagtatanong kung ano ang requirements. Lalo ako nabanas! Eto nga, gusto ko nga sya magkaron ng trabaho tapos pinasa pa nya sa iba. Naisip ko na wala talagang plano tong taong to na magtrabaho at ala nang ginawa maghapon kundi magpalaki ng bayag. Pero choice nya yun. La na ako magawa sa aspetong iyon.

Tinanong ko asawa ko kung ano requirements sa Enchanted Kingdom. Natawa ang gaga! Di ko alam kung bakit. Ano ba daw ang nagyari sa kin at pumatol ako sa text? Huh?

'Basahin mo nga hanggang sa dulo! Eng ong!'

Nakailang pindot na ako ng scroll down puro bakante, hanggang sa nabasa ko ang mga katagang ito…

'Tiga-2lak ng Anch0rs Away!'

Namangha ako habang humahagikhik sa tawa ang misis ko. Di ko na sinagot si Tukog. Pak yu sya!

Prat

Wala lang. Naalala ko lang ang dalawang pinakamalapit kong kaibigan sa probinsya.

Si Bobot…

Huli ko sya nakita nung 1998 sa Cagayan de Oro, nagbakasyon ako nun. Hinahangaan namin ang katalinuhan ni ilong. Di man sya lider, sya ang naging susi sa aming pagkakabuo. Siya ang nag-iisip ng kung anu-ano lang, sumaya lang kami lahat.

Trigonometry class namin nun. Uso ang patayan sa prat sa maynila at cebu. Uso din ang alpha, sigma at theta kapag trigonometry. Naki-uso din kami. Bumuo kami ng pangalan ng prat namin kuno, hango din sa trigo ang pangalan. La lang, katuwaan lang. Si bobot nun, nakikihalubilo lang. Di naman namin sya kaibigan talaga pero cool.

Di nagtagal, lumipat sya ng skul kasi gusto nya maging pulitiko ata. Wala kasing ganung kurs sa skul namin. Matagal din syang si nagpapakita sa amin. Akala nga namin patay na ang loko o naging bihag na sya ng abu sayaff.

Bigla na lang sya bumalik. Hinihingal. Kala namin nanalo sya sa eleksyon sa skul nya. Di naman pala. May dala-dala syang papel. Konsti daw yun ng prat na nabuo nya dun at kung di namin buohin sa skul namin, lagot sya! Hah? Di namin sya binigo at nagpaluan din kami dun sa taas ng restorant ng ka-prat namin. Pagkatapos, kumain kami ng lomi at eksayted sa mga pangyayari. Isang malaking kasaysayan na lang ang sumunod.

Yan si Bobot at kung ano ang pangalan ng prat namin, sa amin na lang yun. Pagkakaalam ko, malaki na ang grupong yun sa probinsya. Mahirap na.

Si Bobot. Matalino. Pulitiko (na hindi naging). Babaero.

Si Jan…

Tukog (stick sa wikang banyaga) ang tawag namin sa kanya. Di naman sya masyado adik, mukha lang dahil sa kapayatan. Sya din ang nagturo sa amin humithit ng kung anu-ano… sugarilyo, rp, at bibiliya. Sya ang tipong walang paki-alam kung ano ang mangyari bukas,basta masaya lang ngayon. Sya ang naging lider namin sa loob ng dalawang taon. Matalino din ang loko. Mahilig din mag-isip ng kung anu-ano basta kalokohan. Cool din sya.
Nung pagkabuo ng prat namin, ginawa namin hostel ang apartment ni tukog. Masaya. Dami beer at marlboro lalo pag unang linggo ng bwan. Gin at more na pag la na pera. May mga babae din.

Naalala ko, may dala dalang babae si bobot galing sa skul nya. Masaya kami kase mga ka-sis nga namin. Inalagaan namin sila. Pinalo din namin sila gaya ng ibang prat jan. Pagka-iba lang, walang patayan sa amin. Gusto lang namin sumaya kahit saglit lang. Pero di din namin maiwasan. Tao lang kami gaya ng lahat.

Yun ang simula kung bakit Hostel ang tawag namin sa apartment ni tukog. Masaya. Malungkot kung alang pera.

Kahibangan. Kalokohan kung sasabihin natin. Pero may malaking natutunan din kami sa munting prat namin. Masaya pala. Ramdam na ramdam ang kapatiran. Sabi nga ng isang kaprat ko, 'bro, ok man diay ang prat. lami kaayo pamati-un ang pagkasuod natong tanan…' Totoo yun, kahit sa ibang prat. Ang sarap ng pakiramdam ng may samahan kang sasandalan sa hirap o ginhawa.

Ang pagkakaalam ko, lumalaki na ang prat namin. Madami nang myembro. Madami na din ang skul. Pero nagsimula lang ang lahat sa Trigonometry class namin. Sa pagiging pulitiko ni Bobot. Sa hostel ni Tukog. At sa barkadahang walang katulad.

I am 30 and moving on…

Thanks God I'm 30!

I remember the my first day in school back when I was 6 in my hometown in Mindanao. I was a very confident lad knowing that my mom had been teaching me the alphabet and basic maths since I was 4. I can read! 'Carabao, dog, cat, house… teacher…' Cool. I was confident, I know I was better than most of my 7-year old classmates back then.

I also remember when I first had a taste of a hard life. My dad was out of work after 15 years of government service and never had a job since then. I was 10 then. My mom, who never had a job, had to fought hard for us to live. My dad, frustrated, turned alcoholic and messed-up. My mom had to sell our TV after the electric company cut off the supply… then the fridge. It was so frustrating. For years, I was helping my mom earn a living. First I found myself selling sando bags at the public market with my muslim friends. My dad had to scold me for doing that. Reason? He was just ashamed that his officemates may have seen me doing that. It didn't matter for me anyway. I was earning P1.50 of the P1.00 capital. At the end of the day, I bring home a kilo of rice and my mom fish or beef bones for dinner. Lucky for us though, we didn't had to pay rent. My mom was tasked by our landlord to look after the house for 5 years… At 11, I was a shoe shine boy. I was then on the streets. Fruit vendor. Cigarette vendor. News boy. Banana Q vendor. While my mom was selling some stuffs house to house. My mom had to venture into 5-6 and most of the time she can't pay, she had to hide. My dad, with his friends.

Looking back, I realized that God must be very good. Cool. Despite, me and my siblings had a decent education. We feel that our endurance to life's cruelty is starting to pay-off. I'm still selling now, maybe this is my passion. A legacy of my mom. My sister is also selling. My brother is on a job hunting. Mom is still selling. Dad is still an alcoholic but we are now good friends. I remember him one time telling me… 'Dong, ikaw ang ako saviour, salamat…' It felt good from a father who never spoke of me since. I know I love him and I have my way of telling him how much I care for him.

I'm now 30 and I'm still moving on. I now have my own family and growing. Josh has been giving us life since he was born a year ago. Ella and I are expecting the second one on June. Cool and I love it! It's a good life, it really is.

I'm 30 and I am thanking my mom for the legacy she shared to us. I thank my dad for the reason of our living. I thank Ella for giving me the joy of being loved. I thank Josh for the welcoming smiles in the morning. I thank God for the life, for the good life.

I'm 30 and I'm still moving on.